


Keep Me from Falling

by TheLadyMerlin



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Community: tamingthemuse, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 21:51:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyMerlin/pseuds/TheLadyMerlin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike is being tormented by his newly acquired soul and the First.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep Me from Falling

**Title:** Keep Me from Falling  
 **Author:**[](http://theladymerlin.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://theladymerlin.livejournal.com/) **theladymerlin**  
 **Rating:** R  
 **Warnings:** none  
 **Pairing:** Spike, Xander, Buffy freindship  
 **Prompt:** Community: Taming the Muse #346 Non sequitur  
 **Chapter:** 1/1  
 **Status:** complete  
 **Fandom:** BtVS  
 **Genre:** Season 7 ficlet  
 **Beta (s):** none, proofread  
 **Disclaimer:** not mine, all belongs to Joss  
 **Graphic:** Banner will appear later when I'm feeling a bit better.  
 **Summary:** Spike is being tormented by his newly acquired soul and the First.  
 **A/N:** This started as something written quickly as a gift for Foresaken2003. I've always wanted to expand the piece and now seemed the perfect opportunity. 

 

He closed his weary eyes against the continuous burning pain coming from deep inside, but it only served to make the ghosts of the past all the more vivid in his mind. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself, wondering how he could be so cold when he felt like he was burning up inside. 

“You can't stay here.”

The voice was like an icepick chipping away at his defensive barriers and he flinched away from the small hand which reached out to grasp his arm. “No,” he managed to croak out his objection.

“Buff, I don't think this is gonna work.”

“I know,” she sighed heavily in exasperation. “But we can't just leave him here.”

Spike flinched away from the girl's voice. A hurt he inflicted and couldn't even begin to atone for. He began rocking and humming to himself to block out the sound and the rhythmic back and forth motion was soothing. He kept trying to lose himself but these bastard children kept bringing him back. Why? What possible use could they have for him? Go! Just leave me here! Please! 

And yet, he was afraid of being left alone. It was when he was alone in the darkness that they came for him. To taunt and poke at half healed wounds. 

“Ah my special boy,” Drusilla whispered in Spike's ear as she knelt next to his shivering form. “We don't need them. As soon as they leave we can play a special game. Tell them to go away. We don't need them here.”

Spike slid his hands up to cover his ears hoping to stop the words but it all seemed so pointless. They never left him alone. A constant stream of visitors he would prefer not to see let alone hear. He wanted the newcomers, these children, to leave him alone but it occurred to him that they appeared to keep the others away. There was also Dru's wish to have them leave. But it was all so confusing and it made his heart hurt. His arms loosened their protective hold around his body and he peered through the gloom at the pair talking a short distance away.

“I know you don't want to leave him here but do you really think it's a good idea to take him to your house with Dawn there.”

Buffy worried her lower lip with her teeth while she considered the broken vampire. “It wouldn't be right to just leave him here.”

“I don't see how we can force him to go if he doesn't want to,” Xander reasoned. “He may be crazy but he's still strong.”

“I thought...maybe... Oh, Xan, I guess you're right. Will you help me keep a check on him though? Between us both we can at least make sure he has some blood and hasn't hurt himself too much.”

“Yeah, I can do that. C'mon Buff. Let's get you home.”

They were just turning to go when Spike peered more closely at the tall, dark haired figure, his addled mind provided a small grain of hope. “Sire?”

Xander froze mid-motion and his head whipped around to stare at the small, dirty form still curled up against the far wall. Wide, blue eyes looked back filled with a hope he simply couldn't bring himself to dash outright. “Spike? It's me, Xander.”

Spike watched the large figure pause and when it turned his way again his heart dared to hope. “Please,” he begged brokenly, allowing himself to fall apart in a way he could never do in front of the children. “Sire, please.”

“I know it's a lot to ask but do you think you could?”

“Buffy,” Xander turned his shocked gaze her way. “He's already pretty messed up. Won't this just make it worse?”

“If you could just take him with you for now and I'll call Angel as soon as I get home.”

Xander sighed. He knew there was no point in arguing with the slayer when she became this determined. He nodded and gingerly knelt next to Spike, who had been watching their conversation with wide, guileless eyes. It certainly wasn't a sight Xander had ever expected to see and he was surprised by the small tinge of hurt he felt. “Hey Spike.”

“Take me with you?” Spike whispered, his voice a hoarse rasp and so unlike his usual confident tone.

Drusilla hissed in annoyance as Spike raised his arms to Xander. “You mustn’t go!” 

Spike ignored her and concentrated on the kind, hazel eyes, the gentle arms which slipped around him to help him stand. Spike couldn't remember the last time he had fed and he felt so weak. He let his weight rest against his sire's soothing bulk. They made their way slowly and carefully out of the basement. Spike's steps were slow and careful. Each step brought him ever closer to an unknown but he also knew they were steps in the right direction. He felt more confident because he also knew without a doubt, that this strong male beside him, would keep him from falling.

~ Mòran taing ~


End file.
